


Shifting Sand

by jenna_thorn



Category: Firefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-19
Updated: 2005-04-19
Packaged: 2018-07-28 18:01:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7650961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenna_thorn/pseuds/jenna_thorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River POV, written for Bonibaru Feb 2004</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shifting Sand

River's not sure she likes being able to see people. When she's completely lucid (and it does happen) she knows that it is helpful to be able to anticipate others' reactions and she is highly aware that she can no longer trust her interpretations of facial expressions, not here among soldiers and thieves, so far from cotillions and wineglasses. When she's completely disconnected (and that happens, too) she rather likes watching the colors shift and play and move, tension leaping from one person to another like a wildfire in the wind, or confidence, a blue tide flowing outward, gathering energy and strength and hue as it spreads. But it's during the in between bits (which, to be honest, is most of the time) when she's trying very hard to hold on, trying so hard that sometimes she does, white knuckled around the stairwell, wide eyed from separating the shadows of memories of the future from the ambiguous reality of the crew, that's when she doesn't care for it. 

If Simon were right, and it was just in her head, a manifestation of her subconscious, then she would be able to predict it, but it's not, because Serenity likes Jayne and River does not, oh she does not. And she likes Kaylee, but not in the way that Serenity likes Kaylee, and not in the way that Simon likes Kaylee, although sometimes she does. But that's not the hard part. The hard part is staring at Jayne and trying to decide if the words she is hearing are what he is saying now, or what he will say tomorrow, or what the Jayne behind him, who is wearing very different clothes and has a scar across his nose and eye and blood on his sleeves, but not on his hands, not this time, is saying. So she stands very still, and she watches him as carefully as she can, to see if his lips move in time with the words in the air. 

"She's staring at me, Mal."

"Is she pointing a gun at you?"

"Well, no, but…"

"Then what exactly is the problem?"


End file.
